Good evening, my minions.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all you sexy people out there in the dark.

We currently have a chilly drizzle of rain and dark skies, with the potential promise of snow. Perfect evening to light the fireplace and snuggle up in bed to watch a haunted house movie while the wind whips around outside. You know how much I enjoy my haunted house movies.

Great progress has been made on my little holiday story for this year—A Christmas Canticle—so be sure to look for that later this year. I’m closing in on the end and I think you’ll enjoy my take on the classic A Christmas Carol story.

I want to remind you all to make sure you cast your votes for the awards! I can’t wait for the night of the awards. I had a good time the night I won Humanitarian of the Year 2010. A special surprise for me because I didn’t think I had a chance in hell. I guess my work with the animals and the food banks brought me some attention. In fact, I just won another big local honor for my charitable works, but I’m not allowed to say anything just yet. I’m supposed to wait for the official press release before I say anything. But I will keep you updated.

On a side note: I wanted to tell you all a friend and fellow author and I are working on the screenplay for my first book Into the Mirror Black. And then we will be trying to find a home for it. You never know, there may be a film in the future. Keep your legs crossed for me.

I hope you like the photograph I’ve enclosed with this column. We had it taken at one of the old cemeteries. We have some awesome cemeteries. The building behind me is almost a citadel-type tower. I think the photo turned out rather well. For some reason, these photographers like taking photos of me in old cemeteries.

And don’t forget to visit the website of Interactive Paranormal Magazine to get your copy so you can read the interview/story about one of my ghostly experiences: http://ipmagazine.weebly.com/

Let’s chat about hoarders for just a second. Ridiculous. Just clean your goddamned house.

You’ll never guess what I’m watching. A movie about Nazi zombies attacking people at a remote mountain cabin. Yeah, I know, but I had to turn it on for a little bit to see just how awful it was. Zombies aren’t my thing. No, I’m not a devotee of the Walking Dead. Amazing how so many of these shitty little movies get made.

I am kind of in the mood to watch the Mothman Prophecies. I only live a few hours—4 in fact— from the alleged home of the Mothman: Point Pleasant, WV. It’s always been a goal of mine to go see the museum and have my picture made with the big statue.

Sorry, I nearly peed. Ever see the commercial for Christian Mingle? I don’t mean to offend anyone’s religious beliefs, but that has to be the single most ridiculous idea to come along in quite awhile. “Find God’s match for you.” Seriously? God is on the payroll actually picking out your match for you? Isn’t s/he a little busy to be doing something so mundane? It just struck me as stupid and I had to comment.

That’s about all of my rambling for the time being. Remember our animal brethren. Make a donation of supplies, money, or time to your local rescue/shelter. Save lives.

Nighty-nightmares…

Just sharing this awesome picture a photographer took of me.

Hello again.

That's also the title of a weird little movie from years ago that makes me laugh. See, the subject of bringing someone back from the dead can be humorous.

Keep your eyes open for a new magazine named Interactive Paranormal Magazine. Yours ghouly has been asked to appear in the premiere issue. I had my phone interview Friday night. And Saturday evening as well as this afternoon, my new friend and great photographer took me on a shoot to get a cool photo that will hopefully find a home on the cover. Keep your legs crossed.

I also have an interview on Blog Talk Radio's show The Odd Mind Monday night 21 January 2013 at 11 pm Eastern time. Make sure you tune in for that. I always enjoy talking with Lesa and I thank her for the invitation to be on her show again. It's been a few years. You can call in and talk, too, if you feel so inclined.

And I have begun working on another writing project. I know, I can hear you thinking "Just get the next book out already." For some time now, I've been mulling the idea of a little book about my ghostly experiences. So, after the interview with Interactive Paranormal Magazine, I've decided to work on this book and see if it will take shape. I'm just 2,000 words in on the first day. Keep your legs crossed I can stay disciplined enough to continue.

I also have other news but I can't say anything just yet. I've been asked to wait until there is a press release. I'll keep you posted on that as events develop.

The birds and I had some more blueberry waffles today. I'll have to make some more. They really seem to like them. That's just a random thought I threw in there. Don't exactly know why I felt like mentioning it.

Work continues here and there on my new books. Progress is being made, but it's that whole lacking discipline thing I've mentioned before. I enjoy writing my books, but I do need to be as disciplined as I used to be and write something every day. I will work on that. But no promises.

I had a few days of the influenza. nasty, deep cough, fever, chills, so dizzy I couldn't stand up for days. My sister R'Chel called and said I sounded like I needed to get better in order to sound dead. It made me laugh. Well, until I started hacking again. But I feel much better now.

I love the cold but cold without snow just seems like a moot point.

That's all I have for now.

Nighty-nightmares...

Good evening and welcome back to my lair. It's dark outside. Just the way I like it.

I have some good things to report. The first of which is I survived the assassination attempt one of my dining room doors made two weeks ago. Just the remnants of a black eye and a tiny scab. So lucky. That ancient door is very heavy and it could have broken my eye socket and cheek bone when it came off the hinges.

A good friend Kerry has set up transport of a 25 year old African Grey named Noname (No-nah-mee) from where I live all the way to Staten Island to his new home and human companion. His cage is going along, too, so he can start off comfortably in his new forever home. He doesn't speak, which is perfectly fine because that's not natural for them anyway, but he whistles beautifully. He loves fruits and vegetables. His elderly companion passed away and I'm happy Donna will love him. Thank you, Donna.

Next, we will be looking for a fantastic new home for this little gal. Her name is Mango and she needs extra love and attention. She is 11 years old and, as you can see, is a bit of a plucker and so the darling has bald spots. Mango is a happy girl. She also loves fruits and vegetables and she loves to cuddle, and her house also comes with her. She seems to prefer to cozy up to females, so keep that in mind.

Keep the animals and those who work to help them in your thoughts.

These are the cages Noname and Mango come with. Nice size, not cheap, and familiar to the birds.

I've had a nasty cough since last night. It's not quite Tubercular, but I'm damn close to feeling like I need carted off to Waverly Hill Sanatorium.

Nighty-nightmares.

Good evening, minions. Welcome. Enter my temple and listen rapturously as I impart wisdom

I rant and I rave, and still no one bothers to care. That’s not exactly true. Some care. Mostly those who want to remain in the role of perpetual victim choose to ignore me.

I firmly believe you achieve your own destiny and you alone are responsible for your actions. Call it Karma, Fate, Universal Law, whatever you will. I see too many people sitting back and accepting bad situations as the will of some higher power, and it’s all in some divine plan. Too me this is rather…well, stupid is a good word for it.

We all have our definitions of life.

Some people say life is a roller coaster, with its ups and downs, twists and turns. These same people will tell you all you have to do is hang on tight, enjoy the thrilling ride, and try not to get thrown out. Please, there might be a bit more to life than that. Life is not a carnival ride. It may be a sideshow, because I have seen my share of freaks, but definitely not a carnival ride. The people who say this can quite frequently be seen driving down the great highway of life with their lips flapping in the breeze. They should be forced to drive with their heads wrapped in plastic because they are breathing up all the good air and depriving the rest of us.

Some people will even insist you need to leave everything up to God/Goddess/Fate/Universe/Higher Power of Choice—He has it all planned out for you. God never closes one door without opening another. (Watch out for open windows, God might be telling you to splatter your ass all over the ground.) He works in mysterious ways. Everything in life happens because it's God's will. God will have his reasons.

I have one question for this type: Bury your head in the sand much? Take a little responsibility for your own damned thoughts and actions. I am quite certain God is more than busy; He has neither the time nor the inclination to outline and plan the existence of people too lazy to have minor brain functions of their own.

I say do what thou will, as long as you are prepared to take responsibility and answer for your actions. Have no regrets, they are worthless, like a conscience (not a consciousness, that's a bit different—get a dictionary.) There's not a single thing any of us can do to change something we've said or done. Time machines simply do not exist. You just have to pick yourself up, wipe away any tears, roll the body into the ditch, and get your ass moving again. There's so much in life, you can't waste time sitting around and moping over something you regret saying or doing. So, what's the use in having regrets? Sure, we've all had a few, as the song goes. But what's the use? You can't change a goddamned thing. Why drive yourself nuts replaying it over and over and over in perpetuity, attempting to imagine alternate endings. There is no director's cut, no deleted scenes, no rewind and do over. Just get the fuck over it and start moving along.

Life is life, do with it what you will, make of it what you wish. Just don't be afraid to work your ass off. You can only blame being born into a poor family for so long, and then you gotta get over it and start working on bettering yourself before you fall into the same, sad cycle of life. Bitching and moaning are part of the game, as long as you don't get too bogged down with them that you forget what you've set your sights on. Don't forget to have fun once in a while. Count your blessings before you start screaming about your curses. And learn voodoo, it helps get you through those really tough times.

One rarely gets handed the keys to a mansion or is granted a fantastic existence. Remarkably, most any situation can be overcome. Too much time is wasted whining or accepting one’s lot in life. As I said, I find this stupid, and I don’t deal well with stupid. I have worked extraordinarily hard and overcome very serious and life-threatening situations to forge the good life I have. And anyone can do it. It’s called working for it.

Life is life, and the dead wish they had theirs back. Don’t waste it.

That's my philosophy. Learn it, tattoo it on your ass (I like tattoos.)

Think about it and take my words to heart. You’ll find you are improving yourself and your life.

And speaking of stupidity, let’s just touch upon that, shall we? I have no clue if this is an actual topic of entertainment or not, but it's amusing to me.

Have you ever noticed how damned stupid the people around you can be? I'm not talking about people who would have suffocated if breathing were not an autonomic reflex. I'm talking about normal, every day people who seemingly have a degree of intelligence about themselves. Somewhere hidden down deep within the people you least expect must lie a fucking idiot gene that, while dormant most of the time, comes awake and causes otherwise intelligent people to temporarily metamorphose into blathering jackasses.

Darwin must be turning in his grave.

Although I suspect this gene is recessive, it can be found in the genetic make-up of just about everyone you come across. This explains why it has not died out. Since many people have the idiot gene, and when they get together and procreate, unfortunately they pass this gene down to their children. It's a never ending cycle of stupidity. And it will be the downfall of civilization as we know it.

My friend Heather used to laugh hysterically when I would pause and ponder: “Do you hear that? It’s the mating call of the completely fucking stupid.”

Forget about being consumed alive by flesh-eating bacteria, being flash-fried by a nuclear warhead, or being eaten away by any number of cancers. What will eventually kill us all, you, me, the old lady down the street, is stupidity. We will fall victim to some moron who commits a heinous act of profound idiocy which, in turn, will cause a domino effect, spilling out like ripples in a pond to engulf us all.

Be aware. Beware.

Your life hangs in the balance. Watch out for stupidity in all its forms.

Someone, while in the grips of stupidity, will run a red light, causing a massive crash. The reason for this is simple, for as we all know, a yellow light does not mean slow down. For the stupid, it means put the pedal to the floor and try to kill us all. Waiting a couple minutes for the light to change back to green is not an option. I am the first to admit that I am less than impatient. Christ, I say the problem with instant gratification is that it takes too long. But even I have enough self control to slow down at a yellow light and wait through the red one for green. It's not so damned difficult.

Another great example is, and don't get all pissed off if you smoke because I used to have a two-pack a day habit myself, people who have the compulsive need to light up while they're filling the tank up with gas. Because gas fumes, and gas itself for that matter, are in no way flammable. Those pretty, bright colored signs warning us that gas is highly flammable are posted as mere suggestions, jokes really. Somebody's idea of a pun. I know this act occurs on a regular basis because I used to work at a convenience store, complete with gas pumps, and I saw it first hand. When I reminded the idiots that smoking while pumping gas was not the wisest idea in the free world, they would invariably act like I was stomping all over some god-given right of theirs. They'd yell and cuss, flick the still-cigarette across the pavement or make a big show of grinding it out under their feet.

I sometimes wonder what the hell people are thinking. Half the time I wonder what the hell they're thinking. The other half, I wonder if they even think at all. Most of the time it boils down to common sense, but sometimes I wonder if common sense has become a recessive trait and stupidity the dominant one.

Nighty-nightmares…

Merry Samnhain, All Hallows' Eve, Hallowe'en (yes, an apostrophe because it is a contraction of the original All Hallows' Evening.) I'm not just pretty; I know stuff, too.

Hurricane Sandy is on its way. I anticipate nothing more than some rain or snow. Not a stormageddon. I made a homemade vegan German chocolate cake for the occasion. Tonight, there is a new haunted house movie on BBC. The Secret of Crickley Hall. I enjoyed the book. I hope this is a better adaptation than the same author's Haunted, which is one of my favorite haunted house books but a very sucky adaptation. I'm not saying it was a bad movie; it just differed to much from the book; I enjoyed the original storyline, especially the ending, and I did not like the movie ending at all. The movie makers changed too many instrumental points. We shall see.

I've been working with my animals. They are great company. Peanut butter sandwiches are enjoyed by the birds!

And work continues on my new haunted house book. I won't give too much away, but I will say some of the scenes are disturbing and disgusting. Just wait.

I enjoyed myself at the Masquerade Ball to raise money for the building fund of our local no-kill shelter. Here's a picture. I didn't wear my mask for too long as you can see. (There's more blog after the picture.)

Tonight, I'm going to relax and eat cake and watch the haunted house movie. It should be a pleasant evening, especially if it starts raining or snowing and I light candles. Set the scene, if you will. Nothng better than a chilly autumn evening with candles, cake, and a creepy movie.

My mind has been thinking more and more of an outside fireplace. Ever since I've spent time at my friend's house, where he has a nice chiminea and builds these fires, I've thought about an outdoor fireplace of my own. And I have the perfect spot for it, too, where I can sit outside on a winter night and enjoy the snow as well as a blazing fire.

Now that is a cool outdoor fireplace. Although, I would love a huge one built out of stone, but I don't have an estate right now. Maybe one day I will have the manor I want and then I will have the big outdoor fireplace, as well as the pond and waterfall.

Okay, that's about it, my minions. Make sure you enjoy the holiday and...

Nighty-nightmares...